Shoelaces & Self Love

Self love...it feels a bit dirty. So close to selfish you might hate your Self, and yet slightly daring because you don't want to admit to others that treating your Self to some mocha latte is endless fun. Where do I get self love out of some shoelaces, you ask?

It just so happens that I am lucky enough to own magical shoelaces, which have this deep yearning to come untied every couple of blocks. One person suggested that I buy less fickle laces to solve this annoyance, and then just the other day I went into a panic thinking that my walking buddy will find a new partner if I keep tying my shoes so much.

Nevertheless, I am trudging onward with my unraveling shoelaces, and for my steadfast loyalty, I was given a brief moment of insight. As I bent down to tie my shoe on the way to the post office, my mind flashed back to a kindergartner I met during summer camp. This lovely urchin never tied her shoes for herself. First I was aghast, and then like Nancy Drew had to get to the bottom of the shoelace mystery. Now looking back I see that perhaps her shoelace non-compliance may have been an innocent request for love and affection, but at the time I felt it was my duty to show her the beauty of self-reliance.

Tranquility, Beth Hemmila: green tourmaline, sterling and fine silver

I spent that whole summer watching her learn to tie her shoes, deliriously cheerleading her efforts. While I was tying my shoes the other day, it dawned on me why I got so fired up and desperately wanted share this moment of complete and utter freedom when you tie your own shoes. Bending down to tie your shoes, to recognize a moment of caring for your own person, is an incredible act of self love. Only you and only you alone can know what you need, and only you have that power of instantaneously fulfilling your need simply by acknowledging that it exists.

I have found that one of my deepest needs is for tranquility, and every day I gift myself moments of peace and calm to fill 'er up. Just the act of recognizing wanting tranquility sometimes opens up space for it to happen. Like noticing my shoes need to be tied. Seeing when things come undone gives me the chance to be aware of what I need in that moment and the opportunity to experience the power of self love.


  1. “I love this and yes (!) I see how shoelaces relate to self-love. It's the perfect symbol actually. Next time I tie my shoelaces, I'll remember your story and remember to love myself, just as I am, shoelaces untied and life unraveled, and me tending to myself in perfect harmony.” --Cheryl from PlanetPinknGreen.com

  2. Such a great post! love it.


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