|i appreciate people journal|
Last fall I started another 120 Day Challenge that I didn't share with anyone. Coincidentally, it ended the day before Valentines Day, which I thought was the most delightful surprise about love and gratitude.
Instead of being thankful for things, I choose to write once a day about a person I am grateful for and use Marshall Rosenberg's chapter on appreciation from his book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life as a model.
One of the most unique aspects of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is the belief that our habitual approach to expressing praise and appreciation can be life-alienating and often used as method for influencing others rather then truly connecting.
In NVC the method for expressing appreciation has three parts:
1. What actions of the other person have contributed to my well-being?
2. What feelings resulted from having my need fulfilled?
3. What needs of mine have been met by this person's action?
NVC Appreciation = person's action + resultant feeling + need that was fulfilled
Here are some examples from my journal:
Thanks for being so friendly and talking to me during choir practice today. Your laughter and conversation helped me feel comfortable and allowed me to be at ease in a new environment.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts about the design of my Om charm. Your feedback prompted me to be creative again and this brought me feelings of happiness.
Dear Tax Man,
Thanks so much for holding the tax workshop and providing so many clear answers to my questions. I am feeling more confident about running my business in Nevada, which provides a level of security I needed.
Nevertheless, moving forward from my 120 Day journal of appreciating others, I hope to learn how to express it verbally in the moment to people when it's actually happening as well as begin to truly receive it when others are offering it to me.