How to Write Positive Affirmations Step 2: Uncover a Need

How to Write Positive Affirmations Step 2 Uncover a Core Need by Beth Hemmila

This is a four week series that explains how to write a positive affirmation in 4 steps. More information can be found in my book Lemonade Mantras, which you can download for FREE by clicking here.

To see all 4 Steps from the blog series click here.

Step 1: Make a Concrete Observation
Notice a Trigger Event (something happening in your life that stimulates feelings of anger or frustration) and then neutralize your evaluation into a Concrete Observation.

Step 2: Uncover a Need
Ask the question, "What did I Need?"

How to Uncover a Need

Experiencing an intense feeling such as anger is warning light saying, "Hey, you need to check this out." Anger tells you when one of your needs is going unmet. Connecting with a need isn't done as a way to change another person or manipulate the situation to your liking. Rather valuing one of your needs connects you to a deeper part of yourself -- a place where you know that you have everything you need and nothing is missing.

Feelings point the way to your deeper needs, and needs ultimately reveal your true Self and how best to share it with others. Listening and valuing your needs as well as those around you connects you to life. Needs are your true Self telling you how to be your best.

  1. Remember your Trigger Event.
  2. Ask yourself the question, "What did I need when this was happening?"
  3. Identify your needs. To download a List of Needs click here.

  • Imagine the Trigger Event and then read different needs from the list. Ask yourself, “If this need was met during my trigger event, would I feel better?” 
  • Picture transforming the trigger event into your ideal situation and then ask yourself: “If this was the perfect experience, what would it give me? What need would it fulfill? What matters most to me in this situation?”

For more information, click here to download my free ebook Lemonade Mantras and read chapter 4.
Check out my Youtube video on Lemonade Mantras chapter 4 by clicking here


  1. I like the example u show here.. boy does that remind me!.. I have learned how our emotions seem to eschew our thinking..(logic)... is it because we don't want to be truly honest in what sets us off? or is it easier to find fault in others? :-)... I guess it goes back to speaking my mind and being more honest...

    1. Haha! I tried to pick an common experience that everyone can relate to. Maybe it's a little bit of both. I know many times I like to remain in the dark and then reacting to someone else seems so much easier then going inside my own self. This process really does help me create more honesty with myself.

    2. I use to be the one who would react right off the cuff, then I took a look at myself and realized that I was no better than the person who upset me.. and I figured that person wasn't worth the energy spent.. Now, I just walk away and don't react..

    3. That's so awesome that you see how reactions affect your energy! I love how you are able to walk away.

    4. Now if something bothers me, I either power walk when its hot, or I work in the yard pulling weeds, repotting which really is a tough workout cuz I keep finding more plants to combine in bigger pots! lol.. See what getting older does! Why didn't I know this when I was 20 or 30????

    5. I love these ideas for working out the energy!! Gardening must be such a positive and nurturing way to deal with challenging situations. I love it!


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